As you get older you start to realize the good and the bad relationships that you have been in. You will try to pass on that knowledge to your kids, but you can’t force that advice on them. For me as a parent I try to share my experiences, both good and bad. I feel that being honest with them will strengthen my relationship with them. My wife and I try to show our daughters what a healthy and loving relationship looks like. There are different kinds of relationships and friendships out there. It is tough to realize that you are in a bad one or that some distance in a relationship is necessary. In my opinion a real and loving relationship has no upper hand.
Find Those Not Looking For The Upper Hand
Have you ever been in a relationship where you feel like you can’t speak your mind? It can be a family member or friend that makes all the decisions. When you are younger sometime you just go with the flow. You don’t want to ruffle any feathers. If you speak up that person will start to blame you or act like they are a victim of some made up notion. In a healthy relationship that has no upper hand, you will get your way sometimes and the other half of the time they will get their way. It should not be just a one way street. Once I became a father I realized that I needed to be a great example to my daughters. I wanted to be in relationships where that person cared as much as I did. I nurtured the family and friends who celebrated with me, just as much as I celebrated them. That to me are the relationship that are worth fighting for. You need to cheer on people as much as they cheer you on.
Finding Your Tribe
It might be a hard transition to focus on just the healthy relationships. When you leave the bad ones, not only are you helping yourself, but you teach the person who is always looking for the upper hand a valuable lesson. They will realize that people are not pawns for their own game. Hopefully they will learn from their mistakes. It is great if they do, but sometimes that is not the case. On the plus side, you are out of that unhealthy connection. You can thrive in places where people care and champion for you. The only upper hand they look to offer you is a high five or the one to pick you up if you fall down!