Recently I have noticed how tough parenting has been from articles or social media posts. When you add in the pandemic and virtual school, parents are losing their patience a lot quicker these days. On top of all that we see both moms and dads talk about the double standards in parenting. One side might feel the other gets a free pass when they bring home dinner from a restaurant. The other side feels neglected when it comes even being recognized as being a good parent just because of their gender. I didn’t even mention all the hoops kids are jumping through while navigating school and home life. To make sure we are there for our kids and our spouse, we must remind ourselves of a few things. Here are my thoughts on how to make sure you focus on your family and not all that outside noise.
The Filter Of Social Media
This is one of the biggest issues we have as parents today. We talk to our kids about the dangers of social media. Parents have their own set of issues. There is the idea that we must do exactly what other families are doing. That is one the biggest falsehoods we have today in the parenting world. We must realize that each family operates differently. There will be good days and bad days. Still each family must do what they think is necessary to thrive at home, school and work. If we get caught up on what other families are doing, we will fail at home. I have known moms and dads getting rid of social media to not get caught up in that nonsense. My suggestion is try to at least have one family meal together each day. See where everyone is at as it helps to check in on each family member. This will lead to some fantastic conversations and a healthier mindset for everyone in the family.
Stop Looking To Others For Validation
There are a lot of articles that come out in the parenting world that seem to focus on how moms and dads are being portrayed. I feel like all of sudden we are all back in middle school or high school. We try to fit in the cool crowd or look to receive some praise from others. We must forget all of that noise. Yes, it is great to receive affirmation from time to time. That is human nature. What I have tried to do when it comes to my role as a husband and father is to do the best I can every day. I am not looking for a gold star. For me I can go to bed at night happy knowing I did whatever I could for my family that day. I don’t look to social media or society to tell me that I am doing a good job. The ones who tell me are the ones at home with me. That validation doesn’t have to be in word form. It can be in actions by my wife or kids. Try to remember who really matters in your world and try not to focus on the stereotypes that society puts on moms and dads.
Don’t Judge Other Families
Let’s flip the script on the last idea. Not only can we stress out about what other people think of us, but we can stress out just as much when we judge other families. If we are not looking to society to tell us how to run our family, then we should not be judging other families. All of that time and effort that goes into talking about other families or judging them could be used in better ways. We tell our kids to worry about what they can control in life. We should follow that same advice. Let me share an analogy. People always give me a double take when it is 30 degrees outside and I am wearing shorts. I grew up in New England. I love the cold weather. What may be cold to others is a fine temperature for me. We all have our own temperatures that we feel comfortable in. The same thing should apply when it comes to parenting. Find the temperature that is right for you and your family.