We tell our kids to believe in themselves. There are many different iterations of that phrase or mentality that they hear from us as we try to guide them as they grow up. We share this mantra with them because when times get tough or they feel alone, they will need ways to pull themselves up and find the strength to carry on. At different stages of their lives self-doubt will creep into their minds. It could be going to a new school. It might be some friend drama. In addition, it could be trying to get into college or landing that first job. Here are some ways where your kids can find validation for themselves that is pure and authentic.
How Do You Teach Them About Healthy Spaces To Get Validation
What do you tell your child when they feel rejected or when they fail at something? Does a bad grade define who they are? What about when they don’t make the cut on a sports team or get a role in the high school play? How do you comfort them? Any parent has had to answer these questions from time to time. It is at this moment where our kids need us the most. When your kid starts to feel insecure, you want to take their pain away. As they get older, we have to walk that fine line where we are in the back seat when it comes to them feeling whole when tough times arise.
Plus, we have to see what type of validation our kids are looking for at that moment. Is it emotional or intellectual? Having conversations with your kids helps with this process. Listening is the best way that we can help them out. You don’t want to quickly judge them or share advice right away. As you are talking with them, they might be able to solve this issue just by being able to voice their feelings out loud. You can share different perspectives, but allow them to see which one will help them out. If they are able to find validation through that conversation it will help them in the future. They will remember this moment and technique which will allow them to know their worth by talking with people who truly matter in their lives.
Taking Your Own Medicine
Another way we can help our kids out with finding their own validation is by doing the same thing. There are many times in my life where I fail and get rejected. I kid you not, I even got rejected on a business proposal via email as I was writing this article. It was a jolt that I needed to take my own medicine while I am writing this. Life hands you many results. Some outcomes are the ones you want to happen and others take you on a different path.
It is tough to see your child look for validation when something doesn’t turn out that way that they wanted. Yet, if you are in their corner helping them realize that an admission board or sports team or a company doesn’t get to tell them what they are worth. Ultimately it is on them to determine their worth. They are resilient human beings. We just need to help remind them as well as ourselves of that from time to time.