These days everyone is offering advice to new parents. Moms and dads to be are still going to prenatal classes. The book What to Expect When You’re Expecting is still very popular. Those methods of learning about how to become a parent are all well and good, but they are outdated. What about learning from video games?
Let’s face it. The first year when you and your spouse become parents you will have your parents helping out. Brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, and grandparents want to get their baby fix on. You might even feel overwhelmed at all the help you get from family and friends.
As soon as your child blows out his or her birthday candles from their first birthday everyone who was vying to hold your baby will leave faster than rats off a sinking ship. Now what do you do? What did those classes, books and advice get you? Probably nothing.
So I am here to help out on how to become a great parent. I want to prepare you for what is in store. From the toddler years to teenage years I got you covered. I have created some video games to hone your skills at raising kids. Let’s take a look at them.
1. Call of Dooty: Modern Potty Training
This game is full of challenges that you will face as your kid goes from diapers to underwear. Unlock special bonus points by getting your child to go from diapers to underwear in less than one week. Get the coveted golden toilet award if you child doesn’t have any accidents while potty training.
2. Left for Dad
This game can be played by moms and dads even if the title suggests it is just for dads. The main goal is to get all of your errands done before your kids start to whine. Just be careful not to get behind the student driver car. That is not good for anybody.
3. Dress, Dress Rebellion
Ah, just wait. Once your kids start to get older, the fights of what to and what not to wear to school will start in your once peaceful home. You lose if the decibel level in your house raises to a certain level. Are you able to go one full week without any fights? Good luck!
4. Mom Kart
This one is a classic. We all have had those “moments” in the grocery store where our kids start throwing tantrums because we wouldn’t purchase the triple chocolate marshmallow cereal. Can you beat the other parents from the produce department all the way to the checkout aisle? Points are scored by getting all the items on your list, kids with the fewest tantrums and by having the healthiest groceries in your cart. You think you can get first place? HERE WE GO!!!!
5. Mortal Kurfew
Another popular game. As Sebastian the crab has said before, “Hm. Teenagers. They think they know everything. You give them an inch, they swim all over you.” Well in this case you give them the keys to the car and they will feel very independent. They will also seem to lose track of time. You need to make sure that all your kids get home on time. If they do that well you have done an outstanding job.
6. Mom Crafts
This one seems to be a hit for both parents and kids. The challenge in this game is to see how many crafts you can create to curb any boredom that could reside in your home. How many crafts can you come up with?
7. Space Invaders
The weekend. Two days where in theory you can sleep in and have a nice restful morning. Not the case when your house is full of toddlers who don’t care if it is a Monday or a Saturday. Can you kid proof your bedroom from these space invaders? If not a 5 AM wakeup call on a Sunday is in your future.
8. Super Smash Brothers
Cain and Abel are the poster children of sibling rivalry, which is the reason why they are the two main characters in our game. Can you keep Cain and Abel from fighting? Or does the fact that Cain took Abel’s toy for the fifth straight time turn your household into an all-out MMA brawl? Let’s see if you can achieve the highest score and attain the rank of Ultimate Peacemaker.
9. Fort Night
One of the best ways you can entertain your kids is by building EPIC forts in your home. When my kids were toddlers they would love making forts out of couch cushions, pillows and blankets. In Fort Night you have to build unique forts to keep your kids happy. You earn bonus points for creating complex and fun forts. This game will pay you back when your kids are at the age when they will enjoy homemade forts.