In life I have found that expectation doesn’t always follow reality. It doesn’t matter if you are thinking in terms of your career, family and friends or just life in general. Whenever you are thinking about goals that you have in life, the timetable doesn’t always sync up with your intentions. We get disappointed. Frustration might set in. Then there is the conversation you have with yourself about those goals and why they didn’t follow your plan. It could be excuses. There could be legitimate reasons why your expectations did not meet up with reality. We get a sense of closure and move on. We plan accordingly and set new goals. What happens when this issue happens for your kids and the goals YOU have for them? This is where it gets tricky.
Which Of These Timetables Is The Correct One?
When you become a parent there are milestones that your baby and toddler look to reach. Your pediatrician gives you a guide to look for those milestones. From saying the first word to walking we have these expectations for when our child must complete them. When things take a bit longer parents start to stress out. Eventually our kids complete that milestone when they are ready. We have a sense of relief that they are getting back on that “path” that the average kid follows. As parents we feel like the timetable is restored. In actuality, our kids are still moving at their own pace. It can become more frustrating when our kids don’t follow our timetables as they get older. We have to remember that they are own their own journey.
Having Patience And Following Their Lead
We might forget when we were kids all of the different things that were pulling us in different directions. We didn’t want to let our parents down with the expectations they had for us. As a teenager we were thinking about our identity, where we want to go to school and what the future holds for us. That vision can get murky when we try to follow a path that is not our own. We get stuck in the mud of validation from others and our own plans. This can lead to certain timetables not being fulfilled at the expected time.
Parents need to remember this as our kids get older. We need to talk to them to see what they want in life. They should feel free to follow their own passions and path. We want our kids to succeed in life. We just need to remember that it should be their path we should encourage them on and not the path we have for them. As parents, we should feel secure in the life lessons we taught them to make their own decisions and make them on their own timetable. It is easier said than done, but we need to remember this and support our kids in the path they choose for themselves.